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Quora精选:你懊悔成婚吗?为什么?
2019-08-09 22:26:57

曾经有一句经典的名言——

婚姻是爱情的坟墓。

而现在,也有许多人“闻婚色变”。

那今日就来听听Quora上的外国网友们谈谈他们的婚姻。

Do you regret your marriage, and why?

你的婚姻让你懊悔吗?为什么?

取得38.8k好评的答复@Jennifer Lynn:

Yes, my first marriage was a disaster. It was actually an arranged marriage and I had no clues as to what kind of a person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

懊悔。我的第一次婚姻便是一场灾祸,其实是爸爸妈妈组织的,我也不清楚自己的余生要和什么样的人一同度过。

When his lies, selfishness, lack of love and greediness surfaced, it had become difficult for me to stay under one roof. We separated soon after.

当他的谎话、自私、缺少爱和贪婪暴露无Quora精选:你懊悔成婚吗?为什么?疑的时分,我就很难和他共处一室了。咱们后来很快就离婚了。

Later on I realized my mistake and I would like to share it with you.

后来我认识到了自己的过错,我乐意共享给你。

Oftentimes people get into a relationship before taking the time to figure out who they are and what they need.

人们常常还没弄清楚自己是谁、自己想要什么就开端爱情。

They may spend more time researching their perfect car, which they will have for a short time, than they will researching their needs, wants and goals for their perfect relationship, which they expect to have for a lifetime.

他们可能会花更多时刻研讨最适合他们的车,而车只会用很短一段时刻,却不会花那么多时刻研讨自己完美爱情中的需求、巴望和方针,而爱情却是他们想要持续一辈子的。

Therefore, step 1 is about self-discovery. If you are in a relationship just because it’s expected of you, it might backfire on you soon.

因而,第一步便是自我发现。假如你仅仅遵照他人的等待谈爱情的话,你很快就会自作自受。

取得97.6k好评的答复@Russell Backman:

I am in the middle of a divorce after 27 years, which I thought was going to be forever. I didn’t want the divorce, initially. However, now that we have been separated over a year, I didn’t know how much I had changed. I am now somewhat glad we are divorcing.

27年的婚姻日子之后我正在离婚,原本我以为这段婚姻会海枯石烂。开始我不想离婚,但是已然咱们现已分隔一年多了,我不知道自己变了多少,我现在还有点高兴能离婚。

I wish we could have both changed and worked it out, but too much water under the bridge. I have changed significantly, being happier and more comfortable with the new me.

我期望咱们曩昔能做出更多改动并处理这件事,但已木已成舟。我现已改动了许多,现在的自己Quora精选:你懊悔成婚吗?为什么?更美好,过得更舒畅。

One of the touQuora精选:你懊悔成婚吗?为什么?ghest problems in long term marriage is that as time goes on you lose a sense of self, as you melt together as a couple.

长时刻的婚姻日子中最难处理的问题之一便是跟着时刻消逝你会失掉自我,由于作为夫妻你们要磨合。

This loss of self is a big problem. Some look outside of the marriage for activities or even relationships not because they don’t love their spouse, but becaQuora精选:你懊悔成婚吗?为什么?use they feel truly lost.

失掉自我是个大问题,有些人寻求婚外之乐,乃至有人会有婚外情,并不是由于他们不爱自己的伴侣了,而是他们真的感觉自己失掉太多了。

I think a truth about marriage: In the beginning of a marriage or relationship you argue and disagree because you are different and don’t know each other. In the end, you argue and disagree because you know everything about your significant other.

我理解了婚姻的真理:婚姻或爱情初期你们争持或产生不合是由于你们之间的不同,你们不了解互相。后来你们争持或产生不合是由于过分了解对你很重要的那个人。

取得85.6k好评的答复@Nicholas Stavropoulos:

No. This September will be 25 years of marriage for us (I was 23 and my wife was 24 when we married). We have four children.

不懊悔。本年九月是咱们成婚25周年(成婚时我23岁,我妻子24岁),咱们有4个孩子。

I never regret my decision to marry, in fact, I'm very thankful for her presence in my life. This being stated I do not want anyone to believe that I am representing that I have a "perfect" marriage.

我从未懊悔成婚的决议,其实我还很感谢她能走进我的日子,说这些我并不是想让咱们觉着我有“完美”婚姻凉拌牛肉。

There have been great times and challenging times in my marriage. In the end though, I have grown significantly as a human being because of the experiences I have had in my marriage.

我的婚姻有苦也有甜,但是终究婚姻的阅历让我这个人明显地成长了。

My view of marriage and what it means to me is based on learnings that I have come to realize over the years:

我对婚姻的观念和婚姻对我的含义都是根据我这些年的感悟:

-My goal in my marriage is to share my love with my wife. To me, if I am not filled with love, joy, forgiveness, service or any other virtue, I will be unable to share it with my wife.

—我成婚的方针是要和妻子共享爱。对我而言,假如我心里没有充溢爱、高兴、宽恕、服务或任何其他美德的话,我就不能跟妻子一起共享。

-I've leaned to listen with attention to my wife (and others) because of my wife. I will forever be thankful to her for this skill. It has made me better in ALL my relationships, personal and professional.

—由于妻子我学会了聚精会神地倾听妻子(或他人)说话,我永久要为这个才能感谢我的妻子,这使我更好地处理各种人际关系,无论是私人关系仍是工作关系。

-I've learned and continue to learn to accept others as they are. To make choices about the people with whom I wish to invest my time and the activities in which I choose to participate.

—我学会了并将持续学习承受他人原本的姿态,以便能挑选好我想花时刻共处的人和我决议要参加的事。

-I've learned that there is no "soul mate". If there is a soul mate it is to be found within ourselves.

—我知道了没有“魂灵伴侣”,假如有也是在咱们内心里。

-I've learned patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and much more because my wife and I are different. Because we Quora精选:你懊悔成婚吗?为什么?have disagreements, arguments etc. . . Every time we have differences I make a choice to focus on what it is I can learn from the exchange.

—我学会了耐性、宽恕、承受,更多的是由于妻子和我有许多不同,由于咱们有不合、有争辩,每次咱们产生不合时我都决议要重视我能从这种思维交流中学到什么。

Finally, I want to make one additional point about marriage and in many ways life. Today it appears we live in a throw away, instant gratification society. We look for the fast and easy solution and cut our losses when things don't go our way.

最终,我想再弥补关于婚姻和日子许多方面的一点。今日咱们如同日子在一个很随意的、灯红酒绿的社会,日子不尽善尽美时咱们寻求快速快捷的处理方法来削减丢Quora精选:你懊悔成婚吗?为什么?失。

Marriage is not easy and it is not for the feint of heart. It takes an enormous commitment. Things will go wrong. Your expectations will not be met. You will suffer from time to time.

婚姻不易,不能虚情假意,需求巨大的支付。会有波折,不能事事如意,偶然你还会难过。

This is life, this is marriage. How we respond is what matters. I think marriage is so great because in reality it is the most difficult thing in the world and it reveals everything about our character as humans.

这便是日子,这便是婚姻,咱们怎么应对才是最重要的。我以为婚姻很崇高,由于其实它是世界上最难的,并且它提醒了咱们人道中的一切特色。

I continue to love, respect and care for my wife. I am thankful for our time together.

我会持续去爱、尊重、关怀我的妻子,我很感谢咱们在一同的日子。

看完这些过来人的心得,你对婚姻有什么观点?

修改:大C,Lumos